Post by Rick Redner on Apr 13, 2013 22:35:29 GMT -5
Let me count the ways: 1. My desire for sex often referred to as libido dropped to the lowest levels in my life 2. I greatly miss the pleasure of ejaculation. Two years later that's still true but I'm not as sad about it 3. The intensity of orgasms has diminished, though every now and then it does return 4. I'll still leak urine during orgasms, though the volume has been greatly reduced.
In summary, while I'm no longer sad after sex as I was the first year, it is still less enjoyable than my pre-surgery sex life. Two years after surgery, I'm still in the process of adjusting, adapting, and learning to enjoy what I have without focusing on what I've lost.
Here's the place to discuss the changes prostate surgery has brought to your sex life and what better place to share these very private issues than with other men who've been there and understand what you are going through.
I am not surprised that there is not a lot of discussion regarding this aspect of post surgery life. Most are taught from a very early age to repress and not publicly engage discussion or act regarding this very natural part of life. And there are probably more good reasons then bad to keep it that way.
I realize that as we age most of the changes we face will eventually happen even without prostate surgery. I have to wear glasses, have hearing deficiencies, and walk when I use too run. So less firm erections and peeing when I walk was going to happen anyway.
I admit that I need much more stimulation to get going without Viagra. My Climacturia only lasted 1 month but I did have a few incidents while working on my own therapy if I had prolonged orgasms. I found that every time I had an erection I needed to encourage myself to try an keep it hard for as long as I could. When the nocturnal erections became more frequent I would time them and see how long they would last. Mom took it personal until we had a talk about what and why I was doing this therapy.
Last month my embarrassment and boredom got the best of me and I stopped (touching myself) and when I did have a chance to perform it did not happen. So the theory if you don't use it, you will lose it, is true. I have gone back to self help and have my nocturnal erections back.
I too miss the golden shot! But I also enjoyed a multiple orgasm once so far. Usually we stop and clean up. No mess and she does not know I had an orgasm so I keep going. Not so bad!!!
Here is one change you may not have noticed. Men talking openly about masturbation, failure, and urination. Clearly these topics are not comfortable for me to write about. It is even more difficult to discuss.
I visited a friend who is still held up at home in pajamas 8 months out. We had a long conversation about his incontinence issues. We shared thoughts about sex with and without a partner. I have not used most of my Viagra so I gave him a dozen. Although we know each other we are not best friends. By the end of our meeting I started to feel very uncomfortable. His wife stayed in the bedroom while we spoke. I offered to have her join us as I truly feel his problems are theirs. He said she was shy, I say they are old school and this is not for ladies to speak about with men. Thus the yuk factor!
At least on this forum I can write my thoughts and although not the most comfortable issues to explore, I at least get them out there. It appears that my situation is different from many of the posters. I hope with time members will feel more comfortable in writing their experiences so I can compare my progress with others.
Post by Rick Redner on Mar 4, 2014 11:39:44 GMT -5
Jehjr, Thanks for sharing such a private experience about masturbation, which can play a very important part in penile rehab, especially for those men who don't have a partner. (As well as for those who do.) I found that three years after surgery I'm still unable to give myself an erection. Thankfully my wife can, so my rehab is literally in her hands!
After your post I hope other men will feel comfortable sharing their success and failures with masturbation. Now that anyone is post-surgery, you can refer to this activity as "penile rehab"
Rick at 60 years old unless you have one of those rare wives that can and will have 3 or more sexual experiences every week, you will be working on physical therapy alone.
The gentleman I spent time with is completely normal. His wife is baby sitting his grandchildren 5 days a week. She leaves early and does not return until late. By the time she gets home she is exhausted. They are both in their mid 60's. He has limited health insurance and no prescription coverage. He said 8 Cialis pills were going to cost him over $250. He said if those pills are the only thing that could save his sex life he was domed. He also had a doctor in Boston that gave him no time. He went open pubic and 8 months out is still on 4-5 pads a day.
So using inexpensive guards/pads and masturbation are currently all he has. I have been blessed with good insurance and a prescription plan that covers Viagra. I also enjoy my limited time with my wife but feel that 3 times a weak require some self help. At 15 not a problem, 60 it feels a little different.
I do not share this information for a thrill but to show other prostate cancer survivors their is hope and if you can, share. We need to make the journey easier for those not as fortunate.